Give the People What They Want

Every other day a handful of new flyers are plastered to the inside walls of my “secure” building. Mostly they are for pizza and sushi delivery. Occasionally, they are for “Internet Access IN THIS BUILDING!” which is, incidentally, not at all available, so I’ve gotten used to ignoring them.

But this one stood out for me:



Let’s forget, for a moment, the creepy cartoon tweaker delivering my pizza. Let us look instead, at the heading of the flyer.
Allow me to translate:

DONATELLO: PIZZA/COFFEE

Well those are two things I love! And two things that I have wanted to combine at least none times in my life! Genius.

Also, if you look on the back:

They can deliver cigarettes with your pizza/beer/coffee delivery.

Gordon Ramsey, Wolfgang Puck, Common Sense: y’all just got bitchslapped.