Problems with Translation

I think I can say with accuracy that the only that run on time in Russia are the trains. Trains here are never late.
Everything else, pretty much, is.
Today, when I was giving a lesson on "prepositions of time" we came to the prepositional phrase in time.
"So that means that you arrive for the correct time?" P asks me.
"Yes," I confirm.
"Okay, so the correct time, minus or plus how many minutes?"
"Um... plus no minutes."
"Really? Not even some minutes?!"

I know that it's partly a translation problem, but it's also so...Russian.

Some Fun with Translation

"лежачий полицейский"

Literal translation: "lying (down) policeman"

That would be a "speed bump" in English.

It's such a better phrase in Russian, nyet?

More Translation Problems

Sometimes, classes get off topic. Most of my students like it that way, and enjoy testing out their English in “real” conversations, which means that they just want to talk to me about movies, and food, and Canada (but never Canadian movies or food--what does that tell you about national culture?)
So with one student, Sem, we got into a discussion of my own Russian studies, and how I was coming along in day-to-day life. I told him that I’m getting better, but that mix ups are always happening, and told him my little story about the martrushka. He loved it, so I shared the following story about my friend Jeff:

He had just come to Moscow, and was pretty good with his Russian already. At
2:30 in the morning, he needed to get some grocery shopping done, so he walked
into the supermarket and up to the deli counter. “A little tipsy” (according to
him--so in reality it should probably be more like “quite drunk”) he smiles at
the woman behind the counter and says “Mnye nuzhna” (I need) “sosoki.”
The
woman glares.
He thinks nothing of it, since the evil eye is basically the
“Hello, how are you?“ of Russian supermarket service. If Moscow supermarkets
were to go so far as to hire Wal-Mart style greeters, they’d probably kick you
in the ass and make fun of your haircut on your way in. So Jeff repeats his
request, and the woman only gets more upset, asking him what he wants very
curtly. Baffled, he finally just points to the sausages, asks for a half kilo,
and leaves the deli.
Only when he gets home with a dictionary does he realise
that he did not ask for sausages (“sosiski”), but for nipples.

Sem likes that story, and offers his own:

He was fifteen, and went with his class on a trip to…I dunno…Austria or
somewhere. They were all sitting in a hotel room, and goofing around, and one
fourteen year-old girl decided to show off her excellent English skills by
reading aloud from the label of a drink bottle to all the hyper teenagers
in the room.
“All natural!” she announces. “No preservatives.” And suddenly
turns bright red, and leaves the room to the laughter of far too many less than forgiving adolescents.
“Preservativs” in Russian means “condoms.”

And sorry for the consistently adult nature of these posts, guys, but the best translation stories are always the ones that are inadvertently sexual simply due to the fact that they are such easily made mistakes: in virtually every language, most sexual words are actually euphemisms. “Preservativs”, “putting out…“ That’s what we get for coding our speech so thoroughly….

So a Good Part of Northern Moscow Thinks I'm a Slut

I don't have much time today--gotta go home and wait for a coat (long story), but I'll tell you something I learned just now:

Usually, rather than the bus, I take a Marshrutka, which is a van that follows the bus route-weaves in and out of traffic better, really comfy seats, and only costs a buck. But the money collection on these things is a little haphazard, with people just randomly passing their fare up toward the driver.

Every once in awhile, someone will turn to me to collect fare I have already paid. So I say to them "Ya dala," "I gave."

Well Slava just informed me that I have to say "Ya otdala," or "I gave it." Otherwise, the sentence has a similar connotation to "I put out."

So yeah. I've told at least half a dozen people over the last two months that I don't have to pay my cab fare, because I banged the driver. Nice.

You can take the girl out of Transcona...

When Translation Problems...er...Rise

All names and identifying details in this story have been changed at the request of the individual who provided this story to the Expatella.

No Mum, this story is not about me.

So an English-speaking friend of mine, Mary, is dating a Russian man John, who speaks English well enough that they can converse fairly normally. A missing word here, a brief hesitation there, but by and large, they have managed to get past most major communication issues.

Recently, Mary and John began the physical phase of their relationship. One night, after a little too much champagne, it starts getting really hot. Thinking that she is not quite ready for this, Mary tries to slow things down a touch.

"Okay John," she tells him mid-makeout, "That's enough. You need to put on pants."

"Okay," John says, and begins to walk across the room, away from his pants on the floor. Just as Mary is about to ask what the Hell he is doing, he returns to the side of the bed, a box of condoms in hand.

"Here--I have some pants."

"Pants" is a pretty basic, low-level word. Just goes to show you that men the world round are never thinking of slowing things down. He heard "You need to put on..." and his brain shut down completely.

I am certain that the ensuing laughter out of Mary was more than enough to cool things down.