When Translation Problems...er...Rise

All names and identifying details in this story have been changed at the request of the individual who provided this story to the Expatella.

No Mum, this story is not about me.

So an English-speaking friend of mine, Mary, is dating a Russian man John, who speaks English well enough that they can converse fairly normally. A missing word here, a brief hesitation there, but by and large, they have managed to get past most major communication issues.

Recently, Mary and John began the physical phase of their relationship. One night, after a little too much champagne, it starts getting really hot. Thinking that she is not quite ready for this, Mary tries to slow things down a touch.

"Okay John," she tells him mid-makeout, "That's enough. You need to put on pants."

"Okay," John says, and begins to walk across the room, away from his pants on the floor. Just as Mary is about to ask what the Hell he is doing, he returns to the side of the bed, a box of condoms in hand.

"Here--I have some pants."

"Pants" is a pretty basic, low-level word. Just goes to show you that men the world round are never thinking of slowing things down. He heard "You need to put on..." and his brain shut down completely.

I am certain that the ensuing laughter out of Mary was more than enough to cool things down.