Here is a Sentence I Never Thought I'd Say. Ever.

Mc Donald's f*cking rocks.

I came here because word among the expats is that the place has free internet. It does.

And it looks NOTHING like the McD's back home. It's all chrome and wood, paper chandeliers, white granite tables and black-tiled modernism, with flatscreen TVs and deep armchairs. And there fantastic bakery in here. (I promise pics soon--I forgot my upload wire at home)

So I sit down with tea (coffee is, like, four bucks. Damn, I miss coffee.) and opened up my laptop, only to be accosted by a scarf-swaddled babushka:

Babushka: Russian Words (gesturing at my computer)

Me: "Ya nye gavaru pa russky" ("I don't speak Russian")

Of course I said this with enough of an accent and conviction for her to be slightly confused by the statement before she examined the screen.

Babushka: "Angliski?"

Me: (nodding)"Da." (She was right, but I've actually taken to answering every statement made to me in Russian with "da" and a nod as a way of avoiding conflict. I think I once helped someone get on the wrong metro with this technique. But I digress...)

Babushka: "Ooooh! What you call this?" (jabbing at the laptop with her little babushka hand)

Me: "Computer"

Babushka: "NO! Mini-computor"

Me: "Oh! This is a laptop."

Babushka: "Aha! Liptup! Eenternyet?"

Me: "Yes! Internet!"

Babushka: (examining the back of the laptop with interest) "Where eenternyet come from?"

Aw damn. How to explain wireless internet to this woman who is quite possibly old enough to remember the Russian Revolution? And with a language barrier between us, to boot?

I wave my arms in the air:

Me: "Everywhere! It's free in here! It's coming from... Mc Donalds"

I point at the ceiling, which isn't really true or meaningful to the conversation in any way, but what the Hell? She's 85 years old if she's a day-- I could tell her the internet is powered by hamburgers, and she'd likely just nod marvel at technology. So I figure my explaination will suffice.

Babushka: "Free?! Aha! Good good." (she touches my hand in a grandmotherly way) "Good luck to you here. Enjoy Moscow. Welcome. Good luck."

McDonald's Moskva is rad.

In other news, two people asked me for directions today. Russian people. And I gave them directions. Correct directions. In (limited) Russian. I have nothing clever whatsoever to say about this, I'm just gloating about it. Little victories can feel so big sometimes.